Interview Emma Barri, Mexican Artist behind Pecados y Milagros
As I was sitting down in a bookstore/cafe in Mexico City’s Zona Rosa, Emma Barri walked up to me and we introduced ourselves. Emma is the photographer behind the Instagram project Pecados y Milagros. I contacted him because he had many photos which I believed would help me portray the Gay Bathhouse and Steamroom culture that I had found in Mexico City. We talked about his photography project, how it began, the connection between photography and the gay male experience in Mexico, Mexican Gay culture, Mexican History, and much more.
What stuck out to me beyond anything else is the fact that this type of project, that deals with the intimate interior of Emma, and all of his collaborators, was possible in the first place. Emma began to find his Models on Grindr and proceeded to expand his pool of models to include friends of his from his community of Mexican Folklore Dancers. Each of them brought an openness to the project that I cannot imagine finding back home in the United States.
They say that we are like playing cards. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. I use objects a lot. Cards, flowers, clothes, frames, paintings, paint, to reflect ideas and answers. He uses these things to elevate the photo to something that expresses something. On the head is the ace of hearts. But below on his heart is the diamond. He has a corazón vacio (broken heart, or literally empty?). The diamond represents a pure heart but it is empty. It’s only something that has physical value. The heart in the head represents the dreams of love that we keep in our minds. But we don’t know if that person is going to stay or is going to be compatible with us. We dream so much. And we project so many things onto other people.
We don’t know if love will arrive or if it will end with this person or in what way it will end. As my friends and I pass through experiences in life, the heart changes, and the mind changes, We are not the same people as 10 years ago, or 1 year ago. We think in different ways.
Emma was first inspired by his first love, who also had a photography project of his own on Instagram. This new tradition among gay men in Mexico was passed on to Emma by his first love. He was 19 at the time. I was reminded of the emotional and psychological power keg that was my life when I was 19. One thing that we connected on is the fact that neither in Mexico or The United States is nobody is taught how to be gay. Our desires are ignored by ourselves and by our society. While the public health messaging is slowly improving in the United States, nothing of the sort is happening in Mexico. Photography projects like Emma’s Pecados y Milagros offers gay men a way to portray the complications of their lives even if a actual solution is yet to be found.
In this picture a young gay man sits quietly outside The National Museum of Anthropology. This is one of the most famous museums of the world because of how it effectively transmits the fascinating story of Mexican History and Culture. But the young gay Mexican Man, the desire that he feels, and the desire that he provokes among others who see him is left sitting outside the museum. The young model, and the photographer who captures his image are left outside to learn for themselves what it means to be gay.
During the Quarantine Emma took a break from his photography and began an online Foro. A Foro is like a space to discuss a certain topic. The translation to English is Forum. But I think a little more than a translation is necessary here. I’ve been to some LGBT forums in the United States and unfortunately they usually left me wanting more. They were not well attended and the subject matter seemed academic and somewhat disconnected to the life I was living and the questions that I had. They were usually hosted by institutions or professionals and sparsely attended by the populations that were the target of the work.
I’ve also been to Forums in Mexico such as Emma’s. There are no academics, no public health professionals, there is really nobody in charge, just dozens and in the case of Emma’s, 100 peers who identify as LGBT who bring nothing more than a desire to discuss topics of interest.
As the interview progressed I felt an admiration for Emma, an admiration that I feel for all Gay Mexican Men. To have created on their own, a community of help, and projects such as Pecados y Milagros, that share with others parts of themselves that in The United States, we have collectively decided to keep to ourselves.
Emma uses his photography to recreate memories inside some of the places where Gay life in Mexico Takes Place. Each of these places is covered on this blog. One thing that Emma, myself, and many other gay mexicans have in common is the desire to transmit what happens in these places. We’re not content to just take our experiences with us. There is something happening in these places that people need to know about. Something that we feel the need to share. And in Mexico, we have found the opportunity to do just that.
Cine Del Oro – The Mexican Golden Age of Cinema
For those of you who like old cinema, Mexican Cinema has a very rich history that is sure to interest you. The googleable term is ‘Cine del Oro.’ The English translation would be the Golden Age of Mexican Cinema. The time period of Cine del Oro is the 1940’s and 1950’s, but what Emma told me is that all throughout his childhood he remembers these movies being played on the Television in his home. The production quality and cinematography of this time period is very high and these movies and the actors had a great influence on Emma and his Mexican models alike.
The Chacal
Any treatment of the Mexican gay experience would be incomplete without touching the subject of The Chacal. The Chacal is a construct that lives in the minds and particularly the desire of the Mexican Gay Experience. Chacales are urban masculine men with fluid sexualities. Talking about men in this way in the United States has become taboo, but in Mexican Gay Culture it is a topic that always comes up. Emma met this Chacal at Baños San Ciprian in Mexico City’s, La Merced, Neighborhood. They exchanged numbers and later did a session of Photography together. Personally so many of my sexual fantasies have involved this same plot, but never, until moving to Mexico, did I ever expect this fantasy to become reality. This reality is the reality of the Mexican Gay Experience.
